me: Can you split this twenty for me?
Convenient Store Man: Sure. Begins ripping twenty dollar bill in half, as far as the middle of Andrew Jackson's face.
me: Can you give me two tens, that is?
CSM: One for me and one for you?
me: No. Two tens for me.
CSM: One for me and one for you?
me: No. Two for me.
Hands me two fives and a ten.
me, annoyed: Thanks.
***
C'mon, you should know the answer to number 42. (When I posted this originally, the title line of this site was "I will be king and you will be queen.")
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FROM THE ARCHIVES:  
People We Like. I've got a new photo in The Morning News: the co-owners of Frank White, an unusual coffee shop in my neighborhood. — 07.17.08 Charles Atlas will make a man of you! "Against Atlas' better judgment, I declined performing all of my exercises in the nude." (accompanying shirtless photo of the author taken by me.) — 07.17.08 Cat on a Leash. I am totally buying a leash for Coleman asap. — 06.25.08 The Brooklynites. Great photos of a wide range of people from my favorite borough. (Thanks to Kurt [a talented photographer himself] for passing this on.) — 12.19.07 Killer Boob. My childhood (and current!) friend Sarah talks about her experience with breast cancer on her well written and charming blog. She's an American living in Belgium and happens to be one of the best people I know. — 12.19.07 |
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