Sunday, 23 May 2004 | The Amazing Daniel

The Amazing Daniel was not amazing, nor was he named Daniel, even. Daniel, apparently, was at a Little League baseball game and had therefore been replaced by Sam. So I guess it's not entirely accurate to tell you that Daniel was not amazing, since I didn't see Daniel's act, but rather Sam's act. Sam was not amazing.

Sam performed his magic show with the enthusiasm of someone who had a gun pointed at his head. Not only did he not smile, but the corners of his mouth sank into a fixed frown, pulled down by the weight of his apparent humiliation. He spoke in a barely audible mumble and stared at the ground a lot.

His worst magic trick was shaking a red handkerchief in order to expose a navy handkerchief tied to it. When he'd finished, I wasn't sure if he'd performed the trick yet, but I took a chance and said, "Wow," just in case (which turned out to be the right timing). As soon as I said it, his mother (Daniel's mother?) let out a tiny sympathetic laugh.

I'd only paid 25 cents for Sam's performance, and, with that, I was given a quarter-sized cookie and a cup of homemade lemonade, so, all things considered, it was a pretty good deal. I do, however, feel a little guilty about putting Sam through such obvious hell.