Tuesday, 29 July 2003 | Manipulate

I need you to do me a favor. Could you please break in my house and move back the hands on all of my clocks? Slip my wristwatch off while I'm sleeping, and pretend you're Chronus? While you're at it, it's probably a good idea to do something about the digital clocks in the underground trains, as well as the NPR reporters who announce the hour just before I silence them with the snooze button. I've tried setting my own clocks ahead, but I always remember how to subtract. But with your help, I can go to bed early, be on time, and stop stretching the overstuffed hours like a middle-aged waistband. Since time won't be manipulated, you must manipulate me, okay?