Tuesday, 13 May 2003 | The Rap Dictionary

Sarah pointed out to me that The Rap Dictionary pointed out to her that I am not properly schooled in my rap vocabulary. Well, that's not how she said it, but she did inform me that besides
1. (n) Little person, "shorty" can mean
2. (n) Female, like baby or honey, as in: "I got myself a shorty, I got myself a forty" or
3. (n) A seven ounce bottle of beer.
Maybe you knew that already.

...

It is impossible not to have your opinion of someone shaped or reshaped by the inane, uninformed, all-capped forwards that he sends you. Does he really agree with those opinions? Does he find that joke funny? He thinks Microsoft is going to give him money for sending me this? The political ones make me feel compelled to respond, but I never do, and the sappy ones make me cringe or laugh, and promptly delete. It's disappointing; I want to think good things about him, but he makes it so hard, especially since this is our only contact.

...

Yesterday I discovered a website that looks alarmingly like mine, complete with graphics I created, as well as a picture I took. I haven't written the person yet; I should probably do that before my frustration somehow morphs into a defeated shrug. Maybe rather than telling him what a crappy thing that is to do, I'll just put those forwards to some use, and bombard him with animated gifs and simplistic words of wisdom, promising him bad luck if he doesn't immediately pass them on to everyone in his address book.