Sunday, 05 January 2003 | Speak

Only two days without much human contact, and I feel especially socially awkward, as if I've forgotten how to speak. I wonder if living alone is changing me at all, beyond the obvious.

In one of my ventures outside today, I got the rear tire on my bike fixed and explored my neighborhood beyond the normal walking boundaries, before returning to the bike shop and getting my rear tire fixed again. It didn't feel especially cold, but it must've been, because it started snowing, pelting me in the face and melting on my skin.

The grocery store I like is pretty far from my place, so I only go there rarely, and only on my bike. (I'd tried to go on New Year's Day as well, only it was raining, the store was closed, and the rear tire on my bike exhaled when I was still far from my apartment, so I walked the bike back [grocery-less] and soaked the sky's water up like a cloud.) So today I went back, in the snow instead, with an insufficient book bag and an assortment of bungie cords. It changes the way I shop, because I now avoid large, heavy items, like beverages and bananas, unless I'm close to my place.

The store was full of people, but I don't think I spoke to anyone. It's much easier to be alone here than in a small town. Or maybe I mean that it seems to be more common.