Tuesday, 06 August 2002 | Colonies

Already, the days of the week mean nothing, except in terms of how close they are to Friday, the day that I'm supposed to move. I finally began boxing and taping and carrying heavy objects down rickety stairs today, scraping knees and pinching fingers, making corners of my house suddenly seem naked and ashamed. I have discovered little colonies of pen caps, dust, and pennies, sometimes with a catnip mouse presiding over them. I have ruthlessly broken them up.

Am I excited? is the question people keep asking. Not really, not yet. I'm too focused on the things I have left to do, the unraveling of my current life, the things I predict that I'll miss. But I am: edgy, overwhelmed, pensive, appreciative, stressed out, productive.

The party last night was great. I'm uncomfortable having parties in my honor because I'm afraid that no one will come. But people came and they made me a silly card and they stayed out late, even though it was Monday and many of them had to get up early in the morning.

Tonight, it was dinner with my family, watching my nephew and niece drag out my old toys and hand them to me like new discoveries, looking at slides from my parents' trip overseas, exchanging full boxes for empty ones.

Tomorrow, I don't remember.

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I apologize if I owe you an e-mail. It will probably definitely be a few more days before I can get back to you.