Tuesday, 22 March 2005 | Stock market

Whenever things go pretty well for me, like they are at the moment, it makes me a little paranoid, as if something bad is bound to follow. I don't believe in karma, but I do have faith in the non-supernatural, pragmatic version of it, the type that tells the stock market that it can't go up indefinitely, but that it must, by some law of the universe, fluctuate like a row of WW's. I sometimes have trouble completely enjoying perfect weather for the same reason: because I can't forget that it's only temporary.

I swear I'm not all that pessimistic, but it has crossed my mind that, any day now, I might get hit by a bus or a train, people I like might die, my city might get attacked by terrorists, someone might throw acid in my face, or the ladder on a fire escape I'm walking under might fall and hit me in the head. Fortunately, however, even though the course of my life is steadily ascending (for the moment! ...only for the moment), each day that passes is decidedly full of positive and negative moments (like the stock market, see), which makes me slightly less uneasy around buses, fire escapes, and hydrochloric acid.